Friday, April 24, 2009

Ryan Garko's eHarmony Questionnaire

Below you'll find the questions and answers to Cleveland Indians first baseman Ryan Garko's eHarmony.com questionnaire. Surprisingly, Garko choose the "write-in" option for every single question he answered:

Which of the following marriage issues do you fear most?

A: fear of growing apart
B: fear of marrying the wrong person

C: (write-in) fear the DJ forgets to play The Safety Dance at our reception


What are your body-type preferences for your mate?
A: Thin and very lean

B: Muscular and athletic
C: Two boobs and a butt


If you decided to stay at home for the evening would you tend to:
A: read

B: watch TV

C: play “Hot Potato” with a cactus

If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?
A: stay close to my date, letting him/her introduce me

B: strike out on my own, introducing myself and making friends

C: hide in the bathroom and masturbate until everyone has left

Which of the following scenarios would make you more nervous?
A: making a presentation to 500 people

B: talking about your deepest fears with your lover

C: sharing an elevator ride with Mark Shapiro


What do you think of "Soul Mates?"
A: there is no such thing

B: each person has one soul mate, whether they find them or not

C: It’s my favorite C. Thomas Howell movie


Financially, how would you characterize yourself?
A: Very frugal and financially conservative

B: Good at saving money with occasional unplanned purchases

C: I could buy a roller coaster if I felt like it


How do you feel about food?
A: I consider myself a gourmand and love to dine on elaborate meals as often as possible

B: I just eat to live, trying to be healthy and consume little

C: With my hands


Outside of a romantic relationship, are you competitive?
A: I'm extremely competitive

B: Most of the time I'm pretty competitive

C: Not really – unless I'm competing in a Fred Flintstone look-a-like contest


What is your opinion on your mate having opposite sex friendships?
A: I believe that both partners should have and actively pursue opposite sex friendships

B: I'm comfortable with a few well-established opposite sex friendships

C: I don’t mind as long as the person’s name doesn’t rhyme with Shady Pizemore


Which of the following indoor activities sounds like the most fun to you?
A: cooking

B: shopping

C: going to the bathroom


What best describes your attitude toward work?
A: it is where I am at my best and my main focus

B: I like my job but my focus is elsewhere
C: it’s just a way to earn money so I can focus on my real passion – starting my own line windbreaker turtlenecks called "Garks"


Your idea of adventure is:
A: whitewater rafting

B: karaoke singing

C: grounding into a double play


How would you assess your verbal intimacy skills?
A: I am extremely comfortable talking about my innermost needs and desires.

B: With the exception of a couple areas, I'm comfortable being verbally intimate.

C: I would assess them verbally, with words, at a fairly skillful level, using my mouth


Your idea of a romantic time would be:
A: a quiet candle-lit restaurant
B: cooking dinner together at home
C: making out while watching Con Air

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