Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Presidential Choices

Today's inauguration of President Barack Obama is the mark of new era in America. And with the theme of "change" in mind, some of Cleveland's most popular sports figures were recently given the chance to answer the following question: What would be your first course of action as the 44th President of the United States?

Travis Hafner: I'd officially change the national anthem from the "Star Spangled Banner" to "Mother" by Danzig.

Hank Fraley
: I'd make it legal to shoot and or stab a person if you really really really don't like them and had a good reason why.

Brady Quinn: I'd issue a full Presidential pardon to my right hand. Then I'd walk around the mall and just slap weird looking people in the face.

Mo Williams: Government issued Snuggies. I got one for Christmas and it changed my life -- I think every American should have one.

Eric Mangini: I'd get rid of the NFL playoff system, because in the end, it proves nothing.

Wally Szczerbiak: Citizens with last names that begin with four consonant become eligible to receive social security at age 31.

Josh Cribbs: I'd create a new position in my cabinet -- Secretary of Awesome -- and offer it to either Keanu Reeves or that guy who hosts "Man vs. Wild."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you are back....too many delays between posts. And what is Devine Delights.....some sort of porn site?