Wednesday, October 8, 2008

How Do You Get Jacked?

As Monday night looms -- and a national spotlight grows brighter -- a few of your favorite Browns reveal some of the unusual ways they prepare for big games.

Jamal Lewis, RB: "The morning before kickoff I play a game of John Madden Football on Playstation. I pick the Browns and give Jamal Lewis anywhere from 90-95 carries. At the end of the game, when they show personal stats, I snap a Polaroid of my TV screen. Then I take that picture, tape it to my jock strap, and play all four quarters with it there."

Braylon Edwards, WR: "I hang myself upside down and listen to OMC's "How Bizarre" over and over until the battery in my iPod is drained."

Dave Zastudil, Punter: "I drive to the Metroparks and find a swampy area inhabited by mallord ducks. I throw a bunch of bread crumbs into the air and wait for them to take the bait. Then, when I have a few in mid-flight, about 5 or 6 feet above ground, I try to kick them out of the air. Not only is it great for my foot-eye coordination but it gives me a chance to be around and feed the wildlife in my community."

Shaun Rogers, NT: "I usually sit down with a good Steinbeck novel. Then I eat it."

Kamerion Wimbley, LB: "I make 5 life size paper mache statues and dress them in the jerseys of whichever team we are playing that week. Then I line up the paper men on a side street near my house and drive full speed into them with my Jeep."

Kellen Winslow, TE: "I like to fill my bathtub up with 80-90 pieces of French toast and 4-5 gallons of maple syrup. Then I just lie in the spongy goo for an hour or so and watch Braveheart."

Phil Dawson, K: "Heroin."

Ken Dorsey, QB: "I usually just go down into my basement and scream the "F-word" as loud as I can until I throw up. It's when I know I ready to play some football."

4 comments:

Franchise said...

Love Ken Dorsey's

Anonymous said...

Mr. Burba,

The Giants will kick Brown butt on Monday night.

-An Anonymous football fan

Matt said...

We had to wait a while for this update, but it was worth it. Another hilarious post!

Anonymous said...

Who knew Winslow would have an allergic reaction to maple syrup? I heard that Romeo Crennel kicked about a dead pigeon in a box on his bye week....