Below you'll find the questions and answers to Cleveland Indians first baseman Ryan Garko's eHarmony.com questionnaire. Surprisingly, Garko choose the "write-in" option for every single question he answered:
Which of the following marriage issues do you fear most?
A: fear of growing apart
B: fear of marrying the wrong person
C: (write-in) fear the DJ forgets to play The Safety Dance at our reception
What are your body-type preferences for your mate?
A: Thin and very lean
B: Muscular and athletic
C: Two boobs and a butt
If you decided to stay at home for the evening would you tend to:
B: watch TV
C: play “Hot Potato” with a cactus
If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?
A: stay close to my date, letting him/her introduce me
B: strike out on my own, introducing myself and making friends
C: hide in the bathroom and masturbate until everyone has left
Which of the following scenarios would make you more nervous?
A: making a presentation to 500 people
B: talking about your deepest fears with your lover
C: sharing an elevator ride with Mark Shapiro
What do you think of "Soul Mates?"
A: there is no such thing
B: each person has one soul mate, whether they find them or not
C: It’s my favorite C. Thomas Howell movie
Financially, how would you characterize yourself?
A: Very frugal and financially conservative
B: Good at saving money with occasional unplanned purchases
C: I could buy a roller coaster if I felt like it
How do you feel about food?
A: I consider myself a gourmand and love to dine on elaborate meals as often as possible
B: I just eat to live, trying to be healthy and consume little
C: With my hands
Outside of a romantic relationship, are you competitive?
A: I'm extremely competitive
B: Most of the time I'm pretty competitive
C: Not really – unless I'm competing in a Fred Flintstone look-a-like contest
What is your opinion on your mate having opposite sex friendships?
A: I believe that both partners should have and actively pursue opposite sex friendships
B: I'm comfortable with a few well-established opposite sex friendships
C: I don’t mind as long as the person’s name doesn’t rhyme with Shady Pizemore
Which of the following indoor activities sounds like the most fun to you?
C: going to the bathroom
What best describes your attitude toward work?
A: it is where I am at my best and my main focus
B: I like my job but my focus is elsewhere
C: it’s just a way to earn money so I can focus on my real passion – starting my own line windbreaker turtlenecks called "Garks"
Your idea of adventure is:
A: whitewater rafting
B: karaoke singing
C: grounding into a double play
How would you assess your verbal intimacy skills?
A: I am extremely comfortable talking about my innermost needs and desires.
B: With the exception of a couple areas, I'm comfortable being verbally intimate.
C: I would assess them verbally, with words, at a fairly skillful level, using my mouth
Your idea of a romantic time would be:
A: a quiet candle-lit restaurant
B: cooking dinner together at home
C: making out while watching Con Air