Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Does LeBron Dream About Basketball?

The Cavaliers have found themselves in a best of 3 series with the Boston Celtics. Last night's win was pretty refreshing. Daniel Gibson and Wally Szczerbiak hit their perimeter shots, Anderson Varejao and company played suffocating 4th quarter defense, and LeBron James did his thing (and according to TNT broadcasters he did it "with no regard for human life", which was something I thought was illegal not only in the NBA but in, you know, real life). I guess LeBron owning a home in Bath, Ohio -- home of super killer Jeffrey Dahmer -- makes a little more sense now. Hey, everyone has their heroes.

So here we are, on the eve of one of the biggest game 5's in Cavs history. As a fan I'm feeling pretty good. Surely LeBron can turn his "on" switch "ON" and we can take at least one game in Boston. This is an important series though, more signifigant than I think we realize right now. If the Cavs can manage to defeat the team with the best regular season record and reach the conference finals for a second striaght year, I think all the "fluke" talk will go away.

As I write this its almost 11pm. I can't help but wonder what LeBron James is doing right this moment. I want to think he is tucked away in a soft bed at a pleasant Boston hotel, watching a rerun of "Full House" as he falls asleep. He has a big day tomorrow and he knows he needs his rest. However, in reality I'm sure he is probably drinking $1,000 a sip champagne while texting Jay-Z and and getting his crotch massaged by a model.

But when LeBron does finally fall onto a bed tonight and shuts his eyes, what do you think happens next, dream wise? What on Earth could LeBron James, the most celebrated athlete in the world, possibly dream about? For some reason I've been thinking a lot about this and its proving to be some kind of a "Da Vinci code style reexamination of the human condition" brain buster.

Does he have nightmares about waking up with 2 left hands? Does he dream about basketball games where all the balls have been replaced with party balloons? Does he have some kind of horrid nightmare where he is at the foul line for a championship winning shot--only he is told if he makes it Wally Szczerbiak will instantly lose all his limbs. What to do--take the shot and make the Cavs champs or save your (3 month old) friend Wally? Maybe he just has dreams where he wakes up, gets dressed, eats some Cracklin' Oat Brand, and goes to work as an editorial assistant at the Akron Beacon Journal. Well, I suppose that would actually be a nightmare for LeBron.

Who knows? Let's just hope whatever it is he dreams about tonight doesn't affect his shooting tomorrow against the Celtics.


Mike said...

I'll tell you what Lebron dreams about. Every night he has majestic visions of getting the f out of the shithole known as Cleveland. He wakes unfulfilled every morning knowing that for every second spent in Cleveland means a living eternity in hell.

Todd said...

I just read a crazy fact about the greater Boston area. 75% of married couples there have a bloodline that actually connects back to their spouse. I guess that explains the backwards thinking and high rates of child deformity. Gross.

Also, you guys use video tapes to cheat.

Anonymous said...

i agree with Mike. lol

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