Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Indians in Desperate need of Brawl

The Indians lost again last night to Chicago, 7-2, extending their losing streak to 5 games. And although Paul Byrd gave up 5 runs, the story of the game, and the season, is still the abnormally putrid offense. Did you know that its been a week and a half since the Tribe has scored more than 5 runs in a game? Horrible. I don't gamble on sports, but I'm pretty sure that the Indians currently have the best odds in Vegas for getting a no-hitter thrown against them.

The scary thing is that I'm no longer sure if this lineup is in a prolonged slump or if this is really just as productive as they get. The team needs some kind of quick spark and with one game remaining in Chicago I think there is only one thing left for Eric Wedge to do: start a bench clearing brawl.

Its time, we need one. The Grady Sizemores and Casey Blakes of the team need to either a.) roll around on the ground and punch someone in the face or b.) roll around on the ground and get punched in the face. And they need to do it quick. Sometimes a baseball fight will bring a team together in a way nothing else can -- its common baseball knowledge.

And with former Indian and first class a-hole Jim Thome on the opposing team, there is no better person to instigate such a brawl with. During Thome's second at bat tonight Aaron Laffey needs fire a fastball up near his head. If Thome doesn't bite, then Laffey should just charge the batters box. This is a flawless plan, I can't see anything going wrong with it.

In the meantime, here are some classic baseball fights to look at:


The Bitter Producer said...

Who doesn't love a good fight?

smadden23 said...

Did you happen to see former Indian Chad Curtis coming out of the dugout in the Martinez/Benitez clip? Ever notice how the majority of guys named Chad are douchebags?

Todd S. said...

That is an excellent point and Chad. And he also had a flat top buzz cut which didn't help.

However, I do feel for the cool Chads of the world. I unfortunately have the name Todd which is an awful name too. Todd is the name of like every blonde jocky bad guy in an 80s movie.

smadden23 said...

My first job out of college, there was a vendor who used to come in whose name was Richard Wadd. Seriously. Now that was an unfortunate name. Todd doesn't seem so bad now, does it?

I'd like to see Eric Wedge punch Ozzie Guillen in the head at the exchange of line-up cards on Monday night. I wouldn't be surprised if "Ozzie" is Mexican for "Chad".

Todd S. said...

Haha, most likely.

Man, I think I would rather see a manager fight pre-game at the plate more than a no-hitter or a 700 foot homerun.