Monday, May 19, 2008

Scenes from the Future: LeBron Becomes a Net

Brooklyn Nets Press Conference
July 1st, 2010
Prospect Heights, NY

Hip hop mogul and Brooklyn Nets co-owner Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter enters a crowded New York media room to an array of flash bulbs. He sits down and at a table draped with a Nets banner and removes his sunglasses.

Jay-Z: Ladies and gentlemen of the press, thank you for attending this very special occasion.

(he takes a sip of water)

Jay-Z: The past dozen years have treated me well -- I've made made more money than I can count, sold 50 million records worldwide, released my own clothing line, opened several successful clubs, and married the most beautiful woman on the planet.

(he smiles and nods his head at Beyonce, who is in the first row)

Jay-Z: However, today might just be the day that all those successes are finally topped. Ever since I was a boy I fantasized about playing in the NBA. However, given the fact I can't dribble 3 consecutive times in a row or jump higher than a fire hydrant, my playing days never really blossomed. Turns out owning a team isn't so bad though-- I can still use all my competitive energy on a daily basis, which is important, because when I got into this I did so to win. Winning titles is all that matters. A few years ago, around May 18th, 2008, I marked my calendar as day 1 of the Brooklyn Nets dynasty. I knew then I would get the last piece to my puzzle. Because we all know there is only one player that can instantly spark an NBA title run in New York. Ladies and gentleman, its time.

(Jay-Z stand up with his arms spread out. Loud, bass-heavy music begins to blar)

Jay-Z: (yelling in his signature "Jay-Z" voice that he does during the beginning of songs) They said it couldn't happen! They said not in New York baby! 2 Kings unite! Young Hova! 2-3! New York, I give you...LeBron James!

(LeBron, decked out in a pinstriped 3-piece suit, emerges from the back of the room. He hugs Jay-Z and is given a number 23 Brooklyn Nets jersey which he shows off to the room of reporters. After 3 minutes of holding each others hands in the air the two sit down.)

LeBron: (smiling) Thank you, thank you. Wow, this is amazing. First off I just want to thank Jay, the Brooklyn Nets, and the city of New York for what has been an incredible 48 hours.

Jay-Z: 2 Kings baby! 2 Kings in one castle, ready to take the top!

LeBron: (laughing) As you can see, this has been a long time coming for Jay.

LeBron: I want to keep this short. Let me just say what an honor it is to be coming to New York and to be part of Brooklyn basketball's inaugural season. This city has always felt like a second home to me and I am now proud to make it my first. I look forward to getting involved in the community and bringing a championship back to the city of New York.


LeBron: I always knew I would end up here -- the east coast was the next step logical in my career as a professional/entrepreneur. Its the big time baby, N-Y. With that said I want to also say that playing for Cleveland the past seven years was terrific-- it was a great place to start my career. It was just time to move on. I still feel nothing but love for the city and am sorry we were never able to put together a championship. Regardless, the fans there will always hold a special place in my heart and I hope they feel the same for me as I take this next step. I will finish here what I tried to start in Ohio and by the time I am done playing I will be wearing enough rings for two hands. Thank you.

(the music is cued up again while Jay-Z and LeBron walk off the stage together)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It really is a sad state of affairs, when all the fans of a team have to hope for is that someone will betray his hometown in two years and go play for them.