Friday, August 1, 2008

Mark Shapiro: Trade Deadline Prankster

For whatever reason the July 31st trading deadline tends to bring out the jokster in Cleveland Indians General Manager Mark Shapiro. Below are some of the prank phone calls he placed to other GM's over the past few days:

Call to Los Angeles Dodgers GM Ned Colletti:

Colletti: Hello, this is Ned.

Shapiro: Ned! You got 5 seconds! Grady Sizemore for Andrew Jones, straight up!

Colletti: Uh, is this Mark?

Shapiro: 3, 2, 1. (hangs up phone)

Call to Chicago White Sox GM Kenny Williams:

Williams: Hello.

Shapiro (talking in deep voice): Why hello Mr. Williams, this is the Atlanta Braves General Manager John Schuerholz. How are you today sir?

Williams: Huh?

Shapiro: I wanted to know if you were interested in trading Jermaine Dye to my organization in exchange for a 1998 Honda Accord and a one year paid subscription to Netflix?

Williams: Dammit, is this you again Shaprio? I thought I told you to leave me alone.

Shapiro: Ahahahahaha!

(Shapiro hangs up phone)

Call to Oakland Athletics GM Billy Beane:

(towards the end of a 90 minute discussion)

Shapiro: So let me run this one by you one more time Bill. Paul Byrd, Franklin Gutierrez, and Rafael Perez for Huston Street and a player to be named later. Sound good?

Beane: It does. I think this is something we could defiantly hammer out Mark.

Shapiro: Fantastic. But one more thing, you of course know I've been talking about baseball cards the whole time, right?

Beane: What?

Shapiro: Hahahahahaha!

Beane: Oh come on!

(Shapiro hangs up phone)

Call to New York Yankees GM Brian Cashman:

Shapiro: Brian -- listen, I have a deal for you that's unlike anything you've ever been offered. It's a one for one and I think you're going to love it.

Cashman: I'm listening.

Shapiro: Alright, I'm proposing you trade... me for you, you for me. A GM for GM trade blockbuster. I'll move to New York and take over your duties for the Yankees and you come to Cleveland to do the same. But it doesn't stop there -- we'll also swap wives, families and wear each other's clothes. What do you say?

Cashman: You've got serious problems Mark.

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